Corridors of my Imagination

Potentially have a place for next semester!!

Yay. Finally.

There is no chronology. What is written here in sequence isn't written in order.

Nothing is and isn't.

The end is not the last, and the middle is not the body, does the beginning start the story?

Art Projects. - DUE DEC. 14

Perspective - messenger angel
Shadows- cat and fish
Chapman picture
pattern - trapese/circus
Montage!
Collage?

World Lit. 1900-Present

Presentation on Orientalism - DUE DEC 3
Final Exam

Japanese

300 Kanji Cumulative test - DEC 9
Study Pack - DEC 9

Contemporary Fiction

Group Presentation
Essay Final Exam - DUE DEC 19

I hate group projects. DETEST.. ABHOR... SEETHE.. in knowing that my teacher is absolutely the laziest teacher I know... to assign not only an awesome group project, but a Final as a Take Home essay... Why can't we just write it in class??

So much to do. overwhelming.

will it be blood or tears you weep first?

The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
The angrier I get, the more I hate you.

In a lake of fire I will baptize you.. and brand your sins deep within your flesh. Lest you forget why you burn...

Burn here with me.

I love new moon... I can't get enough of it.

Everything about it..

Especially Victoria.

And Jacob.

why are werewolves so sexy?

I didn't bring a notebook, but at least I brought my laptop. Although the obnoxious sound of my space bar makes me nervous to use it in class.

I feel ravenous

And hideous.

I want to sleep

I want to have fun.

I want to be with you

And not.

Forever and never.

I am angry and I hunger.

I have a stomach for wrath.

And for pain.

Inflicting and receiving.

Accepting.

Beauty in eloquence.

Beauty in simplicity.

I am dead inside.

Not by choice.

Red pill.

Blue pill.

Small pill.

Large pill.

Take them all.

Down your throat.

Die again.

Fill my lungs.

Pump my body.

Feed me blood.

Feed me life.

I want to live.

I hate those who find ease in whatever they try new.

Those who naturally talented.

Those who do not have to work hard for what they have.

And those who lazily spend their days, wasting away in their parents luxury.

I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone.

In this dream, I am in the world of Xmen. Sometimes I am Rogue and sometimes I splinter off into my own mutant. I have had a dream before of myself running away from hunters, though i would never make it very far. They are government agents who only seek to capture and experiment on young mutants.

The dream begins with me/Rogue escaping from a transit group. I had saved all my power for one burst of energy to free myself. I hear the men shouting orders, I look back and see that the leader has a tranquilizer gun. I dodge three shots before I disappear into a wall of trees. (In my dreams before, I don't think I ever made it that far). I keep running, weaving through the dense forest until I come up to a fence. The fence is immensely tall, I realize I can't climb it. I hear their voices coming closer. Luckily I find a small opening at the bottom and climb through.

Where I have ended up is an obstacle course. It is like a children's play ground, brightly colored metal tubing, slides, and ladders. Only this one is extremely tall and places that you should be able to move freely are now covered in wire meshing, blocking any attempts to just jump across.

I am climbing frantically through the children's maze. There are small openings between the mesh wiring, but to open then, you must lift two layers of regular metal fencing and the thin wire mesh. And when you do, the space created is barely enough for you to heave your body through. I have to climb up, climb down, lift wire, and drag my body. I finally make it to the end.

A girl, who I assumed is the one who watches the maze, begins talking to me. "You have only finished part of the maze, ah, but look, they are advancing towards you."

I am sitting higher than the maze and I am able to see my hunters trying to navigate the forest, however, dense the forest, these men are moving quickly. They see my above the tree tops and motion for a shot. The girl speaks again.

"If they shoot, it will be the singular, most painful feeling you'll ever experience." I am shot twice in the back by the tranquilizer. It is in this moment where I splinter away from Rogue's body.

I do not have time to stop. I become myself and run. The men had reached the Children's Maze.

I slam into a white doorway and burst through, nearly tumbling down the stairway behind it. The next part of the maze is an industrial building, a maze of white doors, white hallways, and white stairs.
I climb stairs, the kick down doorways. I am become frantic in my movements, my decisions, and my actions. I can hear their voices coming closer. I am going too fast down a ladder, I see a flash of metal in the light, but don't stop to look. I reach a door with a small knob. I twist it and open the door.

The next room is square, white with one door. One door with no handles and only a key hole. As I realize the flash of metal was small enough to be a key, the door behind me closes and locks. I am trapped.

I am trapped and I can hear their voices moving closer, closer, and closer still. I am trapped and they will find me. I am trapped and the door behind me opens.

I force myself awake.





That was my first dream. The next one continues from this. I woke myself up enough to miss what happens, but since I was in such a deep sleep, my dream continues within the same dream universe.

I feel absolutely useless.

I haven't had anything decent to write these passed few weeks, probably because of school.

I began this semester completely unprepared. Now I am dealing with the consequences, I am insanely behind in two of my classes. Very frustrating. I wish I had more time in the day to finish what I need.

Part of the reason for my falling behind is because I purchased all my books late. All in all, I could find reasons to peg my current stressed out state, but the matter of it all is that I need to get it together. People, emotions, and money can't be the reason for this. The responsibility is entirely mine. Ugh.

Haven't gotten the chance to draw.
Or write.

All I can think about is earning money and catching up in school.

Goodness, I need one more day.

Sometimes things get complicated.

I am thinking about changing my minor entirely. Japanese is not what I thought it was, I blame it 90% on the teacher and 10% on the classmates. The people in there just drive me nuts, I am intensely annoyed by everything from the moment I walk into class. I can't stand it. Today I was trying to figure out my schedule for the semester (yeah four days before the semester starts). Japanese just no longer sounds appealing, but it does look good on a piece of paper. Art sounds much more appealing than wasting 8 hours a week in a class that I am beginning to abhor.

Though, I did take an art class freshman year, and well, that turned out interestingly. Perhaps it was also the environment in which we were forced to cooperate with.

I have 11 more English classes.

If I take art, I'll have 7 more classes.

After this semester I'll have 8 more English classes, and perhaps 6 more art classes.

3 more semesters equals 18 more slots for classes. 14 of those allotted to English and Art, leaving me 4 more for whatever I want to take. Sounds appealing, no?

I'll have to make a decision tomorrow.

just wait a few more days

No more. I am done.

Oh goodness, I am so bored.

I have hobbies. I just don't feel like doing them. I want to drink, laugh, smoke, and dance. I want to get out of here for a little while. I want to cut my hair, buy some new clothes, and move out of this house! I want to be successful, live fully, and do something with myself.

This is why I hate summer. I the idleness, the lethargy, the heat, and the boredom. All at one time! How do we get anything done in the summer?